EFT: Emotional Acupuncture for a Kickass Life

I heard a term that finally describes how I think of myself when it comes to energy work vs hard science... the belief that mind and body are interconnected vs the 'what is actually happening to create this experience' proof. The term is 'woo adjacent'.

I'll explain that in a second as we get into today's topic which is all about EFT (emotional freedom technique or tapping) and how you can use EFT to put your mindset work on turbo charge, kick your fitness goals into high gear, finally feel like you've got a handle on food cravings, even put a dent in hot flashes or PMS pain.

I heard the term woo adjacent from a woman named Laura Belgray and it was like an itch got scratched on my brain... like a bunch of pennies went clunk clunk clunk into place and I sighed this exhale breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. "ahhhh yes... this is me". Let me know if this is you as well. 

Here's some of the definitions Laura talks about that also resonated with me (and yes this will relate back to EFT because while EFT is an evidence based counselling technique (which you can also use by yourself as a self-help tool), there are parts of EFT that science hasn't explained yet. And as a woo adjacent human, I kinda love and hate that all at the same time.

"As woo adjacent, we’re not normally the types to believe in all that magical/spiritual shit. (AKA “woo-woo.”) But we secretly, grudgingly allow that some of it might be real, and we’re open to it if it is."

Side note from me btw: my daughter IS what I'd call woo woo and we have fascinating conversations about all this stuff. I am not against woo woo, I'm just more woo adjacent:

"We don’t like the aesthetics of woo... the caftans in floaty fabrics, the patchouli, the wind chimes and whale sounds... the soft, breathy voice telling us to breathe innnn, 2, 3, and ouuuuut, 2, 3

We don't like the corny ass buzzword soup: "Holding space to catalyze your full embodiment of the sacred and divine;” “Shift into a new paradigm of alignment;” “Welcome to my high-vibe tribe”

We cringe when woo talk doesn’t take privilege into account. For instance, “It’s all mindset” or “It’s all about a state of abundance” when, no, it’s also privilege. But sure, that other stuff helps. 

We know, we know: We should meditate. It’s not that woo an idea anymore. We believe that whatever works for you, works for you, and is worth paying for, but we also really like when stuff is put in scientific terms, like “brain plasticity.”

We’re open to things that are “impossible” in physical, practical terms—like psychic powers and contact with the spiritual world— but only because wifi is an equally crazy idea.

…And so, we might book a psychic reading if we hear someone’s really good and has a 6-month waitlist. But we don’t want them to have any info about us beforehand, because we’re skeptical and not convinced they won’t cheat.

We love ease. If it makes life easier, we’re willing to try it, even if we have to hide the receipts." ~ Laura Belgray

I would change that hide the receipts part to 'even if we don't fully understand it'. I did cut out some of her description but tell me... did that feel like you?

Maybe you are slightly closer to woo woo on the spectrum or even farther science leaning than me, but if you are open to the idea that it is possible for things to exist that science has not yet explained (which has happened all throughout human history), then let's dive into EFT and how you can use it to make your life sassier, sexier, and stronger.

The best description I've heard of EFT is that it is emotional acupuncture without the needles. You can use the basic tapping sequence for anything around mindset, nervous system regulation, emotional healing, confidence and creativity, habit building, decision making, even physical things like weight loss or pain management. 

Let me be clear that EFT does not claim to heal physical wounds. If you have a broken leg, are diagnosed with cancer, or have a hormone imbalance, for example, EFT is not the 'cure'. But it can be a side kick to help with the symptoms around that ailment. And because mind and body are connected, it can certainly set your physical body up to be in a better position to do the healing work. 

I also want to clarify that while EFT can be used for trauma healing, that is not recommended as a solo practice. A surgeon might know how to remove a gall bladder but that doesn't mean it is safe for them to perform the surgery on themselves, right? EFT for trauma healing is different and should definitely be done with the guidance of a professional counsellor. 

Btw, I have taken some courses on EFT as a counsellor but, at the time of writing this, I would still call myself a newbie in the EFT world. If you are reading and have things you'd want to add to what I say, please feel free to contact me and share. Even if it's your personal experience with EFT

As usual, I am going to focus my examples around the intersection of fitness and mental health, but if you want help customizing some EFT statements for your specific situation, please reach out. 

Let's get into specifics of the EFT set up statement. Counter intuitively, EFT gets us to focus on the negative. I know... totally against what you've probably heard from most mindset ideas and even from me. But what it is actually getting us to do is to be present and honest about what is happening... to not gloss over it with platitudes or affirmations or other lovely things we do to protect ourselves from discomfort and survive the day. 

It can be quite freeing. Instead of trying to force your brain to move that negative thought pattern into a neutral place and then eventually into a more positive place (as something like CBT would have us do), or to bring gratitude in when it doesn't feel natural, EFT encourages us to 'complain'... in a way.

• What is pissing you off?
• What are you irrationally annoyed about with your partner?
• What is frustrating you with your fitness goals or your body?
• What habits have you been trying to break forever and feel like a failure because you just can't seem to change?
• What recurring things come up for you that you logically know aren't true, but you cannot get your feelings to buy in?
• Where are you stuck?
• What physical aches and pains keep plaguing you despite doing all the yoga and breath work?

These are just examples to get you going. And the more specific you can get, the more effective EFT will be. Which means I'm going to give you an example and it may or may not work for you, but you'll see how this goes and then you can create statements just for you. 

I'll use myself as an example and create a set up statement around my lack of workouts lately. Normally, I'm pretty consistent and have a variety of workouts each week including weight lifting 'cause you know... bone density! Not for the last month.

And even though my outward appearance has not change in any measurable way that someone else would notice, I feel like a blob of lard. My joints are more achey than usual (which does not make me want to workout), my thoughts are getting quite nasty in terms of my dedication and what this says about me as a trainer and the progress I worked so hard for that I'm now losing and the health risks I'm increasing by not moving more intentionally throughout the day.

Based on this issue, my simple set up statement for EFT could be,

"Even though I have not been working out consistently, and I feel really gross, I deeply and completely accept myself."

Even though [state your complaint or issue], and I [state how this issue makes you feel emotionally, physically or both], I [insert your acceptance phrase]

Now let's stop right there because I can almost feel a bunch of you recoiling at that last phrase. This is the standard 'acceptance phrase' within EFT but you do not have to use it as is, especially if it instantly feels like something your brain or body want to rebel against... if it makes you go, 'ya but...' it's too far from where you currently are and you should not use it. 

I usually do change the acceptance phrase at the end to something like, "I accept this is how I feel right now" or "I accept this is how things are right now".

Depending on your situation, there are other phrases you might come up with but make sure they aren't phrases that force a 'reframe'. You might like the phrase "I accept that I am doing my best", but only use it if it feels true... not because you think you should believe it. "I accept that I've been busy and don't need to be so hard on myself" might sound great, but it's not my reality right now.

Right I AM being hard on myself so I don't need to justify it or change it. The acceptance phrase should simply acknowledge that I am being hard on myself without trying to fix it... if that makes sense. 

You know... like when you want to rant to your bff or your partner and if they go into problem solving mode your brain will explode on them. "Do not be rational and fix this for me, just listen and be on my side!" That's what you want to do for yourself here. 

And if you know me, you know I love and constantly look for ways to turn relationship tools into tools we use to create a better relationship with ourself. The relationship between you and your body, between your and your past, between you and your thoughts and emotions... it's a real relationship. So right here, you do not have to be rational and fix this, just listen and be on your own side!

So I've stated the problem. "Even though I have not been working out consistently". I've stated how this is making me feel (emotionally and physically - and side note, you don't have to acknowledge both body sensations and emotions and there are ways around it if neither feels good for you, but keeping things basic, state the effects of the problem. "I feel gross" or "I feel bad about myself". And then I finish with an acceptance phrase. "and I accept this is how I feel right now"

This is very basic. And remember I said the more specific you can get (without writing a novel), the more effective it will be? So if I was doing this just for me, I might tweak the basic statement to something like,

"Even though I have not been working out consistently for the last few weeks, which makes me feel like I am letting myself down, and my body feels like a big blob with aches and pains in my hips and shoulders, I accept that this is how I feel right now"

Much more specific right? The first generic one you might be able to use for yourself, but this specific one is less likely to fit you exactly. 

So we get specific to our experience. And if you are unsure, just stay super basic, start tapping, and you will likely start to realize where it doesn't feel like the right words and what you are actually trying to say. And then you'll adjust and tweak and tap from there.

It is very common to tweak as you go. The first time I was tapping with a practitioner, I had helped create the set up statement and I thought it was good, but as soon as I said the words out loud, I knew I had the wrong word. We stopped, we brainstormed and found the right word, and we restarted.

It is also common for tapping on one thing to bring up something else and then you might want to switch to that thing. The EFT world has coined this one thing coming up after another as 'daisy chaining'... which I love. It just reminds me of sitting in a field and making a daisy flower crown lol. 

Anyway, if there are multiple things coming up, choose the one that feels the most insistent, or intense or true in that moment. 

And PS - hell yes you can write down your statement and read it if you need to. Something else that may seem counter to other mindset stuff (like meditation) is that in EFT you are encouraged to keep your eyes open. There are a few reasons. One of the biggest being that if your eyes are closed, it is easier for your mind to dissociate from the here and now when faced with the discomfort of your this thing you are upset about. EFT needs you to see the discomfort, not distract yourself from it.

One of the ways EFT works is to have the trigger thoughts / emotions be activated and then calm your amygdala at the same time. It is literally disconnecting the connection you have built between whatever the thought or memory is and your sympathetic nervous system. And this is where the woo adjacent comes in. 

We will be tapping on acupressure points of the body while saying our set up statement and while we have brain scans that show literal changes being made in the brain (literally rewiring your brain people), why exactly these points on our body should matter, is not so easily explained. 

Yes, it comes from Traditional Chinese Medicine which has been around for thousands of years and we are tapping on meridian energy lines (our Qi) that have been mapped out in the woo woo world (but which science has now shown also map out our nervous system and myofascial tissue) and each of these points has been linked to various organs and even moods. But the mechanisms behind why and how they are linked and why and how tapping on them actually changes things, is not exactly known.  

Woo adjacent.

Which brings us to the actual tapping part. 

There are nine tappings points in basic EFT and it starts with the side of your hand. We tap on the outside edge of our hand while repeating our set up statement 3 times. 

Oh and heads up warning... you may feel a little silly doing this and we can talk about how to do tapping in public in another episode. For now, embrace the woo adjacent and be willing to look silly (if that is how it feels for you)

Immediately after saying our set up statement 3 times while tapping on the outside edge of our hand, we will go through the other eight tapping points with a reminder statement. 

The reminder statement is a much shortened phrase. For my example it could be "working out inconsistently". I might also choose "feeling like a blob". I could use both of them. 

The other 8 points we'll use are 

• the inside edge of your eyebrows (so just above your nose at the start of your eyebrows assuming you don't have a unibrow) 
• your temples just at the outside edges of your eyes
• underneath the centre of your eyes at the top of your cheek bones
• underneath your nose
• underneath your lips but above your chin
• your collar bones just under neath your chin and neck
• underneath your armpit sort of on your ribs 
• and finally the top of your head 

Caveat here... some people start with the top of the head and work their way down. The order of the tapping sequence does matter (again - woo adjacent as to why it matters but the research data seems to say it does in fact matter) except for the top of the head. Start with it or end with it depending on what feels better for you. 

Some people like the idea of going top down and say it connects them with the thought to start with the top of their head. For me it feels better to end with my head like I am releasing the thought or energy... and yes I am aware how woo woo that makes me sound.  

As a counsellor, I do the sequence that the person I'm working with likes best.

One thing we would normally do before we tap is to gauge on a scale of 10 how intense our set up statement feels. This is called SUDS. (Subjective Units of Distress Scale or Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale). But you got that key word, right? Subjective. Meaning it is personal and unique for you. My SUDS for not working out might be very different than yours. 

If your SUDS are under 3, you CAN tap on it but perhaps there is something more pressing you'd like to work on? You may not notice a big shift if you are already starting from a fairly unaffected place. 

If it is more than a 6 or 7, we are probably getting into territory that should be done with the guidance of and EFT professional. EFT is not something to practice alone if you are dealing with PTSD or trauma symptoms.

If we were going to use my example from way back, we'd start tapping on the outside edge of our hand and repeat the fun set up statement three times:

"Even though I have not been working out consistently... and my body feels gross... which makes me feel like I am letting myself down... I accept that this is how I feel right now.

Even though I have not been working out consistently... and my body feels gross... which makes me feel like I am letting myself down... I accept that this is how I feel right now.

Even though I have not been working out consistently... and my body feels gross... which makes me feel like I am letting myself down... I accept that this is how I feel right now."

Now we'd use the reminder statement ("working out inconsistently"), while tapping on the other points

• Tap on the inside edge of your eyebrows... "working out inconsistently"
• Tap on the outside edges of your eyes: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap under your eyes: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap under your nose: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap under your lips: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap on your collar bones: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap under your arm: "working out inconsistently"
• Tap the top of your head: "working out inconsistently"

Now take a moment to notice what you notice in terms of the intensity of the issue or how you feel in your body.

Many different things could happen and there is no right or wrong. You may notice you would now rate the issue as a lower number on the scale of 1-10. Cool. You can still tap again to bring it even lower. 

You might rate it the same or it might actually be higher. Sometimes we underestimate how much something is bothering us and tapping highlights that. If it is higher or the same, I encourage you to pause and tap again. 

You might notice the daisy chain effect and have new things coming up and want to create new set up statements. You may not notice much and think this is hogwash. Usually in that case it is simply that the set up statement was not specific to you. 

You may notice new or shifting physical sensations. You may feel like it didn't do much but then feel more calm later. No right or wrong.

If you think it sounds like a bit of a magic wand waving trick, I would say you've officially become woo adjacent. Welcome to my world.

Let me know if I helped you understand EFT tapping or made it a muddy mess lol. I can always rewrite, but without feedback, it's hard for me to know if I've explained things in a way that make sense and most importantly, are helpful for you in your fitness and empowerment journey.

Is there more to EFT? Yes!!! I've given you the basic intro stuff. And the cool thing is that you can use this for sleep, energy, focus, work, food, memory, conflict, emotions, motivation, confidence, fitness... basically... life. 

My challenge to you should you wish to accept... pick one thing and tap on it once a day or more for the next week. Let me know how it goes. Connect if you need help.

And in the mean time, remember this... you're still on; keep riding.