The boring, yet accurate answer?

A process in which client and counsellor set aside time to explore difficulties which are interfering with the client's ability to experience life in a healthy, satisfied way. This sometimes includes dealing with stressful or upsetting feelings. 

The fluffy, unicorn dream answer?

Counselling is human connection, empathy, and acceptance designed to build a relationship of trust so that the individual in search of healing can see things from a clearer or different perspective, and release the kickass version of themselves that has been held back by all the torturous  mental barriers we humans are so good at creating.

Counselling is not advice, judgement, someone else sorting out your problems, comparing your situation to anyone else's, telling you what to think, say, or do, becoming your BFF, (even if you are super cool), or any of the other things that you think would make your life so much easier.

"Just tell me what to do dammit!"

At some point in counselling, you will be overcome with the urge to say this, (or yell it). You can say it, wish it, demand it, beg or pray for it, and the ONLY response a counsellor can give you is, "I can't."

"Why the F*#K not?!" you then ask...

Three big reasons: (nutshell versions)

#1  I literally can't know what YOU should do. Only you truly know everything about the situation, and like it or not, YOU are the expert of you. Only you can know what is best for you. My job is to help you figure it out.

#2  I would be robbing you. The truth is I might have my own opinions - based on my experience and my perspective and my values. You can see how this is a problem? Your answers need to be based on you... not me.

#3  The moment I tell you what to do, I go against a fundamental and important belief within all counselling relationships; my belief that you are perfectly, wonderfully, uniquely, beautifully, confidently capable of managing your life. And you truly are!

Only you can know if and when you are ready, but here are some analogies to help clarify things. 

Scenario #1:

If you had an injury causing large amounts of blood loss or threatening vital organs, you would get to the ER ASAP. Major crisis or suicidal thoughts are the mental equivalent and need to be treated with equal importance. 

Suicide and crisis hotlines exist because you are not alone in whatever you are going through. You will never be judged on whether your reason for calling was 'valid'.  Use them!

Scenario #2: 

If you had a broken leg or ongoing digestive distress, or you'd had a bad fall and wanted to get checked for possible unseen injuries, you might also go to the ER, but you'd expect a wait time and follow up with your doctor.

The mental equivalent here is a sudden derailment in the normal routine of your life or an ongoing issue that is slowing bringing you down. (does the term global pandemic mean anything to you?) One on one live counselling is appropriate here. 

Btw, just like you wouldn't expect a broken leg to be healed overnight or even to be good as new the instant it comes out of the cast, you probably won't experience instant relief from your mental injuries either. It takes time and that's ok.

Scenario #3:

If you had a persistent fever or a worrisome wart, you might book and appt with the doc or call the nurses hotline. If your mental equivalent feels like it falls in this category, there is no reason you can't use one on one counselling, but you might be ok with self-guided online journeys. 

Important note: Something extremely common among us humans is to minimize what we are going through and decide we 'should' just be able to manage it ourselves. 

Counselling is not meant to be a last resort; counselling 'should' be offered on a regular basis as part of any health care plan so we can all function more optimally within the world (my opinion)

PS - You could also just google symptoms... but just like physical symptom googling,  it might be helpful, or it might  scare the crap out of you. 

I hope these analogies help you to think about your mental concerns with the same seriousness as you do physical ones, and encourage you to deal with them appropriately. 

There is no best model.

Some models of counselling are better suited to different needs in the same way certain treatments are better suited for different physical needs. A cast works great for a broken bone but wouldn't really be useful if you'd had a heart attack. 

There is one common factor in counselling which makes up the majority of the healing regardless of which model is used... you being heard without judgement. 

If you choose to work with me, we will most likely be using a combination of CBT, solution focused, narrative, and somatic therapy (all under the umbrella of polyvagal theory)

And if that sounded like gobbly-gook, just ignore it. Again, I cannot stress enough, that feeling comfortable with a counsellor is the most important aspect.

Counselling with me

I use a combination of talk therapy and polyvagal informed somatic processing (listening to your body and rebalancing your nervous system with EFT tapping) to help you understand why you are feeling the way you are and what steps you can take to feel differently. 

Single counselling sessions with me are $125 for 60 min.

Weekly sessions (5/mnth) are $550/mnth (works out to $110/session).

12 week specialty programs are $1200 and can be paid monthly (works out to $100/session)

Cost effective counselling

I understand that traditional counselling costs may be out of reach. Here's a potential alternative. 

Moving Forward Family Services is an excellent organization that offers reduced cost counselling for those with financial barriers. ($20/session with an intern or $50/session with a registered counsellor)