Anxiety and Fitness

Something awful about anxiety is that not understanding anxiety, makes us more anxious. I was in my 40's before I found out that generalized anxiety was a thing and that I had been living with it most of my life. 

I 100% believed that everyone else on the planet was having the same internal emotional experience about life as me, they were just handling it sooo much better than me.

I thought everyone played out all the worst possible case scenarios about going to the grocery store and spent time talking themselves into taking the risk anyway. I thought everyone walked into a room and immediately checked for where the quickest escape routes were were and always tried to get seating with their back to a wall. I thought everyone went to bed at night with their brain swirling over everything they did wrong that day and how tomorrow could be their last day on earth and had they done enough with their life and would so and so forgive them and what if their kids needed extra support with school but they've been blind to it and what if they never make enough money or find love and did I turn off the stove. 

I had zero idea that anxiety existed in this form, let alone that I was experiencing it. I did not know what I did not know.

I only found out because I ended up in counselling for something completely different and at one point, the counsellor said something like, "this will probably help with your anxiety as well" and I literally sat back in confusion. I looked at her and said, "I have anxiety!?" And she smiled and said, "Well, you are describing the symptoms of anxiety". I was stunned. 

A) This was a thing? 

B) This was a thing I had?

C) Other people were not feeling all these things?

D) Are you saying life doesn't have to feel this way?

If there is a way to navigate life that saves you time and energy, would that be helpful? 

If you answer yes, then consider hiring a guide. A fitness trainer if you want movement help, a counsellor if you want mental health guidance, a beekeeper if you want honey advice. 

It really doesn't matter about the 'what'; someone who knows what you don't know that you don't know, is a good thing

You'll notice above that the first thing I thought when the counsellor said I was showing signs of anxiety was, "This is a thing?"

AWARENESS is always the first step. In my 90 day Fierce AF journey for women who want to feel fit and confident after crappy stuff happens, the first 30 days are all about awareness. 

And that's for two reasons.

One:

Not understanding anxiety, CREATES more anxiety!

Two:

the alternative is to immediately blame ourselves and assume we are broken.

Reality is that most of the time, our nervous system is working perfectly fine. It's doing exactly what it was designed to do. So here's something important to understand about anxiety. 

Anxiety feels bad, but it is not an emotion; it's a physiological state. And there is a useful purpose to that physiological state. It's a smoke alarm. It's a check engine light flashing at us. 

If you are a parent of three young children whose best friend is sick with Covid and your partner is overseas fighting in a war, maybe anxiety is exactly what you should be experiencing! 

And this is not to say that things have to be horrendously bad to justify anxiety, it is to say that before we go blaming ourselves, it's a great idea to look at our environment.

Trying to coping skills your way around an actual threat is like gaslighting yourself and your system.

If coping skills are not working, potentially your brain is doing exactly what it is supposed to do by sounding the alarm

This doesn't mean you have to stay dis-regulated but we need to start by VALIDATING. 

Validation can be the BEST coping skill. Using phrases like, "This makes sense" or "My feelings make sense."

It doesn't mean you have to live in anxiety forever, but start with "what I am experiencing makes sense." 

Remember, not understanding anxiety, creates more anxiety.

And if you're tempted to cast judgement on yourself with thoughts like..."I should know better", consider this... a car running out of gas is not an excuse for the car; it's the explanation.

Us being stuck in an anxiety state is not an excuse; it's an explanation.

* I learned most of this from Britt Frank

It's common to gravitate towards cardio based activity when our nervous system lives in a sympathetically charged anxiety state. Your body is smart; it is trying to discharge the anxiety, to give that discomfort a job. 

So ya, cardio is great. Other ways we can match the energy of anxiety:

• heavier weights or resistance
• anything that requires balance and/or co-ordination (like standing on foot, using a bosu or balance board, changing your stance to create more stability challenge
• anything that requires quick changes of direction (like side to side hopping or dancing in the living room)
• elevation changes (stepping up onto a step, bringing your body up from the floor)

OK, but the goal is not to just match the energy and give it a job. Ideally we are coming alongside our nervous system state so that we can regulate it and then move into a place of safety.

So once we have discharged some energy, we can experiment with stillness. And just like I suggested titrating into movement in little bursts if you are trying to move from a depressed place to a more activated place, moving from an anxious state to a safe calm state means titrate with small steps into stillness.

At first it might not feel like total safety. But there will be moments of slightly safer. And they might be more accessible after the anxiety energy has been given a job... in those moments of post workout, post movement, does everything feel just a bit more relaxed...even for a moment. Are you able to take a slightly deeper breath? Are you able to imagine for a second that you can cope?

** I learned some of this from Alex Howard

What your body is doing makes sense to your body. It is always trying to protect you. You can help by validating your experience and understanding what anxiety is and isn't. 

It is a physiological biological state. It is not an emotion or an excuse. But it does create a lot of feelings. 

You can use movements that match your state to come alongside and make shifts towards a different, safer state

You might want more in depth, guided walk me through it step by step options though because none of this is easy or simple. We are human. We are complex. 

That's why I offer VIP day plans. It's fitness, nutrition, mindset, trauma awareness and understanding, body confidence... it's all covered; it's all customized to you. I'll link there as well. 

I believe in you. I believe you are a smart, capable, survivor. And I believe that you are still on; keep riding :)

polyvagal theory and your nervous system